i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize