i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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