I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
