Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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