so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
