Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
