We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
