i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
