Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
