I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
