; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she woke up with a sticky ear
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
