i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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