Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
