found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
