I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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