If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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