Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize