yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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