I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
