just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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