i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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