everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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