Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
