I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I would ride that face into the sunset
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
