He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
