So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
