well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
