Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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