Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
