It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
