When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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