you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize