Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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