I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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