So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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