My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
