Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
