I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
