i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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