Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize