thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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