He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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