I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize