So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
