i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
