I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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