I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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