please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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