SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
