U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
