I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
