So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
