so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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