how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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