My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
