I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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